Eight tips to help you get through the tough times in life and deal with all the challenges you face getting through the hurdles.
“The hardest thing to do in life, is to live.” Buffy Summers – Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
i remember the first time I ever heard those words, watching my favourite television show, when I was just a teenager. I heard at a time in my life, when my family was going through some rough moments, with a death in the family and varying other issues which were consuming everyones emotions on a daily basis.
It was hard, life was hard and I struggled to stay emotionally strong whilst I was at school, for my mum and for anyone else really, including myself.
For some reason, when Buffy Summers from Buffy the Vampire Slayer said those ten simple little words – percpective. I don’t know why, as they are hardly philosophical by any means, but those word clicked with me emotionally and I suddenly realised. Yes, the hardest thing to do in life is to live. So, what am I going to do about.
It was in that moment, and I remember it so clearly, I made the decision to just live. No matter how hard the days were, physically or mentally, I would just live. Because none of us are alone and we are all fighting the same battle – to live.
Here are eight tips to help get through the tough times and focus on the living.
Decipher the Issue:
Take a moment to put all the fact together. What is it that’s really bringing you down and how big is the actual struggle. Take a moment for some percpective on what it is thay’s making you down and how you can resolve it. Sometimes the smallest thing can send you spiralling down the rabbit hole when you are already emotional about something else. Find out what that something is, then work at sorting through it.
Establish some Focus:
It’s starts with you and no one else. You are your own keeper and you are in control of your own life, no one else is. Holding someone else responsible isn’t always the resolution you need to get past the hard times. Blaming someone, even yourself, for your own tough time is not worth the heartache. Work out the problem, focus on the resolution and then make the choice yourself on how to get through it.
Set up any Boundries:
Often we take responsbility for chaos which isn’t our fault fully, as we are emotionally attached to someone or something. Creating an emotional and imaginary boundary which separates you from this situation can help you deal better with anyone who is emotional around you, by protecting yourself also. That way you can assist anyone around you whilst protecting yourself as well.
Let it Go:
Yes, just like the song in the movie Frozen. Though maybe less dark with the propsect of isolating yourself in a frozen land in a castle made of ice. But the words let it go, provide the prefect foundation for establishing peace of mind. Difficult times may show you that a change in direction is what you need in order to achieve what you want. So letting go of things getting in the way of that, may be just what you need to work towards that achievement.
Be Kind and Gentle:
Regardless of how difficult a time you are going through, how stressed you might be, or whatever troubles you may enduring, never out the blame on someone else. Especially someone who is trying to be there for you and support you. Remember what you’re going through is something only you are going through and you don’t know what someone else is going through. Remember, they may be supporting you through your dark days, but they may also being through something tough in life also.
This is where a lot of people get the concept wrong, by adapting the whole physcy of ‘misery loves company’ approach. But this could not be farthest from the truth. Misery loving company is not the answer, and you should be working towards being around people who will motivate you our of your misery, so you can emotionally get yourself out of the tough time you are going through, to achieve what you want and be happy.
Find a Safe Haven:
Awareness and observation is important, especially when you are struggling to get through any tough times. However, seeking a safe place away from this awareness can also assist in giving you a break from the tough times too. This doesn’t mean you have to take a holiday. Find a cafe outside of your community where no one knows you, or go to a yoga studio where you don’t know anyone. Give yourself a mental break from seeing the same things, the same people and take a small break from routine. This wilol give your mind a break to rest and gather percpective.
Many of the world’s greatest minds and creatives all developed ideas, theories, music, art and writings from tough times they endured in life. JR Tolkien wrote The Lord of The Rings after fighting in World War II and although he never confirmed before he passed, many theorised the concept of the story was a reflection of what he went through in war, losing all his friends and loved ones at the front and facing an evil dictator who wanted to take over the world of man. Find an outlet, tell your story and create something new and exciting as a way of recovering from your tough time.
Many of these tips are from writer Eveline Lonoce who wrote ‘Emotional Competence.’ Eveline studdied human behaviour and is an expert in empowering entrepreneurs, and is also a personal development coach and motivational speaker.